A Cortex Christmas Carol
by Karebear49
Summary: Fresh out of holiday spirit, Dr. Cortex is about to learn just how much his Grinchy attitude will affect his life. Based on "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens.
1. Chapter 1

**I know it's only September, but let's face it- if I don't start this story soon, I'm not going to get it done before December ends. In any case, I hope you all enjoy it.**

A Cortex Christmas Carol

Ch.1 Bah-Humbug!

In the end, one blast was all it took.

Cortex watched as the plasma orb slowly floated towards the brainless bandicoot. He expected him to deflect it back towards the doctor; he had plenty of time. But he didn't react at all. He just stared at it as it came closer and closer until...

The orb came into contact with his fur, and Crash disintegrated immediately.

Cortex couldn't believe it. Crash Bandicoot, his lifelong arch-nemesis, had been defeated so easily.

It was almost too good to be true.

"Yes! Take that, Crash Bandicoot," he shouted triumphantly, "How do you like them wumpas?" He was just about to follow this with an evil laugh (Oh, how he loved to laugh), when suddenly...

A death metal rendition of Carol of the Bells jerked him from his slumber. _Of course, _he thought, _it had to be a dream. _

"Nina!" he yelled, "Turn that music down right now! I'm trying to sleep!"

"What? I can't *cough cough* hear you!" his niece replied snarkily from her room, "I'm trying to *cough cough* get into the spirit of *cough cough* the holidays!"

Cortex angrily sighed as he jumped out of bed. He just didn't understand the appeal of this holiday season. He considered himself too busy plotting world domination and the downfall of the Bandicoots to care about Christmas.

Unfortunately for him, no one else shared his viewpoint.

Storming into Nina's bedroom, he stomped to her stereo and pushed the power button, bringing back the silence he craved.

"What *cough cough* gives, Uncle," Nina protested, "Why are you so against *cough cough* Christmas?"

"Why do you care so much about Christmas," Cortex retorted, coughing mockingly in between words.

"Don't mock me! How dare you mock a sick person," Nina said, sneezing afterwards.

"Whatever. Just go to bed already. It's almost midnight," Cortex said as he was leaving.

As he headed downstairs to make himself a cup of tea, he began to mentally curse the month of December. _The nerve of that girl, expecting me to give a care about this holiday. 'Oh, Uncle, why don't you like Christmas? Oh, Uncle, how dare you mock a sick person.' Sick person, my hind end._

Once he entered the threshold of his living room, the sight that befell him did nothing to improve his sour mood. Tiny and Ripper Roo were hanging tinsel across the walls, N. Gin was decorating a tree, Pinstripe was sipping a mug of hot chocolate, and Dingodile was sitting under the mistletoe and kissing a picture of Tawna.

Upon noticing that their boss had noticed the festivities, the henchmen all froze (except for N. Gin, who fell off of the ladder he was standing on).

"What do you all think you're doing," Cortex exclaimed.

Tiny appeared to be the only one who was not wary of the doctor's presence. "Making home pretty for Santa," he said, and Ripper Roo nodded emphatically.

"I don't want you to make it pretty," Cortex yelled, "I like it just the way it is- gloomy and depressing, with just the right amount of evil mood lighting." He groaned at the string of colorful lights that hung overhead. "This is much too colorful."

"Whattya talkin' about, boss," Pinstripe asked, "It can't be too colorful; it's Christmas, after all."

"Yes, Dr. Cortex," said N. Gin, slightly dazed and giddy from his fall, "These decorations are necessary for this occasion. No time for doom and gloom this time of year." He gestured to the tree before continuing, "Speaking of which, could one of you guys bring me a taller ladder? I need to put the star on top of the tree."

"Please, N. Gin," Cortex said, snatching the star from him, "Allow me."

"That's the spirit, Professor," said N. Gin, "I knew you'd change your tune eventually. I mean really, who could ever be so against the most wonderful time of the-"

The next thing they all knew, a smash was heard, and the shattered remains of the Christmas star were scattered around Cortex's feet.

"-year."

He looked around at all of his henchmen's shocked faces with absolutely no remorse. "I could." As he started back up to his bedroom, he told them, "I want all of this gone by morning, or else there will be consequences. Hopefully you all will have come to your senses by then."

He continued to question everyone's enjoyment of this silly holiday as he drifted off to sleep. If it wasn't for their value to his team, he would've fired them all right then and there. He figured the actions he _did _take in there were enough to get his point across.

He had no idea what surprises were awaiting him that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Lesson Taught, but Not Learned**

Aside from the grumbling of his henchmen downstairs and Nina's congested snoring, Cortex Castle was fairly quiet. Cortex figured he would be well-rested in the morning, and by then, everyone would agree with him that Christmas was a waste of time and things would be back to the norm.

That all changed come the stroke of midnight when Cortex was awoken by the sound of chains rattling. He sat up in bed, completely confused as to where the source of the noise was.

Along with the sound, he also noticed a strange smell. A familiar smell as well. At least, he remembered the taste equivalent.

"_It tastes like peppermint barf! With a hint of-"_

"Dr. Cooorteeeex..."

Upon uttering his former employer's name, he finally appeared; the ghostly figure of Dr. Nitrous Brio, glowing eerily white and wrapped from head to toe in chains.

"N. Brio?!" Cortex whimpered, peeking out from a tiny sliver of his covers, "H-h-how can it be? You're d-dead."

"Listen to yourself, Cortex," Brio laughed, "You almost sound like me."

"Whatever it is you want from me, go ahead and take it," Cortex said, now becoming more annoyed than scared, "I don't have time for nightmares such as this."

N. Brio shook his head solemnly as he continued, "Oh, Dr. Cortex, it is not about what I want; it's about what _you _need. I'm sure you're wondering what these are for." He gestured to the chains adorning his body.

"Not at all," Cortex muttered, rolling his eyes, "But if you must, then please tell me."

"These chains represent all of the evil deeds I accomplished in my life. Every invention, every ounce of credit stolen, every crystal and gem I obtained. Now, you may be thinking that I am proud of each of these links, don't you?"

"Are you kidding," Cortex replied, "You were one of the dastardliest villains I'd ever known, after me, of course. What's not to be proud of?"

"Aah, but while most of my villianous feats should be considered quite admirable," Brio continued, "There is one thing that I regret. Much like you, I also had a history of putting my happiness before others, and the worst possible time to do such a thing is the holiday season. Looking back on my life, every December, every gift exchange I refused to partake in, every tree I had no hand in decorating, every batch of Christmas cookies I didn't make or taste, haunts me to this very day."

Noticing Cortex's blank stare, he dared to ask, "None of this is getting through to you, is it?"

Cortex shook his head and smiled smugly, "Nope," he said as he lay back down in bed, "now leave me alone. Give me a nicer, bandicoot killing related dream while you're at it."

"Fine," Brio said as he began to fade away. But before he disappeared completely, he added, "Maybe your next visitor will be of more help."

This got Cortex's attention. He sat back up and called, "What do you mean 'my next visitor?' I want this dream to be over! Hello? Hello? Do you hear me, Nitrous?!" But he was already gone.

After that ordeal, he figured it wouldn't really do him much good if he attempted to go back to sleep. So, he spent the next few minutes pondering over his exchange with his former assistant. _It had to have been a dream, _he thought, _N. Brio would've never admitted to guilt over his villainy, would he?_

Just when he had finally concluded that, no, none of it was real, it didn't really happen, a bright light suddenly began to shine outside his bedroom window.

Guess he wasn't getting any sleep anytime soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Blast to the Past**

Despite wanting nothing more than to ignore it, the light beckoned Cortex towards it. Once he reached the window, he discovered that the glow was surrounding the silhouette of a person. Well, actually...it was a bandicoot! A female eastern barred bandicoot with green eyes and blonde hair tied up in a ponytail. She was wearing a long white dress and appeared to be floating in midair.

As Cortex swung the window open, he yelled, "What do you think you're doing here, you infernal bandicoot? Get out of here or you'll be sorry!"

The bandicoot just looked at him, perplexed, and asked, "Whatever do you mean, Dr. Cortex? I'm here to help you."

"Why would I want your help with anything, Coco," he questioned, "Did your brother send you to spy on me? I see that you've been overheating that blasted jetpack."

"I do not know who this 'Coco' is you speak of," the bandicoot said, "but I am not she. And I assure you, I have nothing to aid me in keeping me afloat." She spun around slowly to show him.

Now, Cortex was even more confused than ever. _Did someone spike my tea, _he thought. "Wait a minute," he said, "If we've never met before, then how do you know my name?"

"Well, for one thing, it's hard not to know when you're plotting world domination every thirty-six hours," she joked, "And as I was saying, I am here to help you. You see, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."

"Again, with the ghosts," Cortex groaned, "You know you are about two months late for this, right?"

"I did not say I was the Ghost of Halloween Past, sir," the ghost said, floating into the room and smacking Cortex upside the N, "Try to keep up." As he shook his head dumbfoundedly at her assault, she continued, "You claim to be completely uninterested in this holiday, but something tells me you weren't always a Scrooge." Floating back outside, she called, "Come with me. I'll prove it."

Before Cortex could point out that he couldn't just fly after her, she added, "Strap on your rocket boots, dummy," as if she could read his mind. Once he retrieved them from under his bed, he stood on the sill and readied himself to jump after the ghost. And when he did...

...he plummeted straight into the snow below.

Before she helped him up, the ghost said, 'Forgot to charge them, didn't you?" When he muffled a "Yes," she sighed and picked him up by the collar of his shirt, instead resorting to carrying him to their destination: Madame Amberley's Academy of Evil.

"What are we doing here," Cortex wondered as they stopped in front of a dormitory window, "Nina's out of school for winter break."

Instead of responding, the ghost pointed into the window, and there, sitting on the edge of his bed, notebook in hand, was him.

Little Dr. Neo Cortex.

Upon seeing his younger self, Cortex began to sputter in bewilderment. "Wha-? But-. How-? When di-"

"Welcome to Christmas Past," the ghost interrupted, "This is how you chose to spend Christmas at the Academy, while the rest of your classmates were celebrating."

Indeed, while his fellow students (whom he now recognized as N. Gin, Brio, and Tropy) were sitting in front of a slightly withering tree and exchanging gifts, Cortex much preferred to isolate himself and jot down ideas for future villainous plans, each one more horrible than the last.

"Wow, a remote-control airplane," N. Gin shouted as he opened his present, "Thanks, Brio!"

"Hey, would you bozos kindly keep it down," Little Cortex exclaimed, "I'm trying to plot Armageddon, here, and it's hard to concentrate when your pie-holes are open!"

"Why should we," Tropy said, "You're not the boss of us. And besides, it's Christmas!"

"Yeah, Neo," Brio added, as N. Gin accidentally flew his plane into his hair, "You should be excited, too. I mean, we all got you gifts, too. So why don't you be a pal and come join us?"

"Why don't _you _all be pals and leave me to my work?" Cortex replied rudely, "The only gift I want right now is silence and solitude!"

"That would be two gifts, Neo," N. Gin corrected.

Before Cortex could respond, the door to their dormitory burst open, and there she stood-Madame Amberley, in all her terrifying glory.

"VAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" She exclaimed when she noticed the festivities. Her victims all froze in fear (well, except for N. Gin, who was still trying to get the plane out of his hair).

"You all know ze rules," Amberley yelled, yanking the plane from N. Gin, "No matter ze occasion, be it birthday, bar mitzvah, or ze funeral of an enemy, zere is to be no enjoyment of any kind!" Pointing to the doorway, she bellowed, "Detention, all four of you!"

"What!" Cortex protested when he realized that _he _was being punished, "But I didn't do anything!"

"Exactly. You had ze opportunity to tattle, but you didn't take it," she told him, "I vould say I expected better of you, but ve all know zat's a lie."

As the four evil children exited the dorm, grumbling, the ghost turned to Cortex and stated, "Wow, that was harsh. To be fair, though, you were being slightly out of line treating your friends like that. Could this be why you don't like Christmas?"

"Well, of course not," Cortex scoffed, "I hated Christmas long before that incident. I'm an _evil_ scientist; what do you expect? Or have you not been paying attention?"

"While it is correct that you are an evil scientist, Dr. Cortex," the ghost clarified, "This does not justify your dislike for the holidays, for as I recall, your friends all followed in a similar path, yet they have harbored no ill feelings whatsoever." Snapping her fingers, they instantly returned to Cortex's bedroom.

"Why didn't you just do that last time," he asked.

"I thought you could take care of your own transportation then."

"Well, this has been fun, but I'd like to go back to sleep now," Cortex said, "Why don't you go trick-or-treat somewhere else?"

"Not so fast," the ghost stopped him, then head for the door. "Downstairs. Now."

Cortex was growing impatient with this apparition, but then he remembered his exchange with his henchman that night. Maybe they had obeyed his orders and finally dismantled that wretched tree and those stupid decorations. Smiling, he waltzed into the living room...only to find it exactly the same. Actually, he thought he noticed even more adornments in the room!

"Are you serious," he exclaimed, but his henchmen payed no mind, "I gave you simple orders to follow, and you choose to disobey me?! Oh, just wait until morning, everyone. You're all in for it now."

When he realized no one was paying attention, he asked the ghost, "Why aren't they listening to me?"

"They can't hear you," she said.

Still determined to make his presence known, Cortex marched over to Tiny, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor. Taking a deep breath, he began to scream as loud as he could directly into the tiger's ear. "TINY 'TAZ' TIGER! TEAR DOWN THAT TREE AND THOSE LIGHTS RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" He didn't even flinch.

That's when he noticed yet another doppelganger of his in the room, albeit slightly younger but with the same disinterested expression.

"This is still Christmas Past, Cortex," the ghost said, pointing at him and then at the other him, "_You _are not technically here right now, but _that _you-they can see him clear as day."

Gazing around the room, he noted that not much had changed about the ensemble before him-Ripper Roo and N. Gin were just as quirky, Dingodile and Pinstripe were still possessive about their respective weapons (Dingo had actually _hissed _N. Gin once when he tried to touch his flamethrower)-the only major change he could point out was Nina, who appeared to be about five years old at this time, was sans robotic hands.

All of the presents appeared to have been opened already, when strange noises began to come from one last box under the tree.

"Oh, it looks like we missed one, guys," N. Gin said, feigning surprise. He, along with everyone else, had known all along that this one was to be saved for last. Well, with the exception of one.

Jumping from her uncle's lap, Nina curiously approached the box. When it moved, she squealed and backed away from it.

"It's okay, kiddo," assured Pinstripe, "Go ahead and open it."

Before she could, the lid popped itself off, and out came Nina's present.

"PUPPY!" she yelled excitedly, running up and hugging the animal.

Chuckling, N. Gin replied, "No, Nina. This is a bandicoot. But more importantly, now it's _your _bandicoot."

"Aw, she's so cute," she continued, squeezing the bandicoot even tighter, "I'm gonna call you Kiki, and I'm gonna love you forever!"

As this statement was met with a cacophony of "Aww"s, the ghost looked over to both past and present Cortex. Neither of them showed even a sliver of enthusiasm. Past Cortex even appeared a little angry.

"Come on," she said, with a slightly whiny tone, "This memory had to have hit you somewhere." Wiping a tear away, she added, "It definitely got me."

Unbeknownst to her, Cortex had been mumbling under his breath the entire time, mostly about how Kiki would have been a valuable asset to his Cortex Commandos if they hadn't made her "soft." He also remembered that within two years, around the time he had replaced Nina's hands, Kiki had "mysteriously disappeared." He had been the only one to know the truth about what had happened to her, and, while it was rare, he occasionally felt guilty.

He refused to let this spirit know that, however.

"Not at all," he said matter-of-factly, "Let's face it, you're wasting your time if you think the past will change my ways."

"Very well," the ghost sighed, "I guess I've done all I that I can do. But don't get too comfortable when you've returned upstairs. I promise you; this adventure is far from over." With that, she disappeared.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: No Time Like the Present

_This is ridiculous, _Cortex thought once he returned to his room again, _why can't anyone accept my opinions and move on with their lives? I don't like Christmas; end of story. _

"That is precisely why I am here, Cortex," a gruff voice bellowed from behind him.

When he turned around, he had to suppress a snicker at the figure before him. Once again, the figure was a bandicoot with burgundy fur, jagged ears, and a cybernetic right arm. He was wearing a toga and had a laurel crown atop his head.

"Wow, Crunch," Cortex giggled, "While I am flattered that you have returned, is the outfit really necessary?"

The bandicoot just stared at him puzzled, and maybe a little annoyed with his mistake.

"You're another ghost, aren't you," he eventually asked.

"Yep," the ghost replied, nodding, "The Ghost of Christmas Present, to be exact. Since my sister made little progress in helping you change your ways, I thought I would take a crack at it."

"You're wasting your time, you know," Cortex said, "I'm evil all year round. But if you insist on trying, then by all means, go ahead. I quite enjoy watching bandicoots suffer."

"Well then, speaking of bandicoots," the ghost began before snapping his organic fingers. In an instant, they were transported to the Wumpa Islands, right outside the residence of Crash Bandicoot. "Let's see how they are spending the holidays."

Being directed towards the window, Cortex peered through to see the Bandicoots, of course, having a merry old time. They were all gathered around the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate and cuddling with their pets. A stereo on the hearth was playing "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" as they discussed the coming holiday.

"What is this," Cortex questioned, "I said I liked to see them _suffer. _Watching them have fun just makes me want to-"

"Shh!" the ghost interrupted, "Why don't you pipe down and listen to what they have to say."

"I just love this time of year," Coco said with a pleased sigh, "I wonder if it'll snow on Christmas."

"I hope so," Crunch replied, patting Baby T on the head, "Give me a chance to break out my new snowmobile."

"You don't have a snowmobile, Crunch," said Coco.

"I'm talking about the one you're getting me for Christmas," he clarified, "You are getting me a snowmobile for Christmas, right?"

"Nice try, Crunch," Coco giggled, stroking Pura, "But we're not telling you what your presents are yet. You're just gonna have to wait like the rest of us." Turning her head slightly, she shot a wink at Crash and Aku Aku. There was a reason they hadn't let him near the garage all month.

Crash then provided his own input on the holiday, but unfortunately, his family are the only ones who can understand him, so Cortex had no idea what he said.

"Now, Crash," Aku Aku responded, "That's hardly fair. I'm sure Cortex is celebrating the occasion just like we are. He wouldn't try to take over the world at a time like this."

_I beg to differ, _Cortex thought.

"Yeah, right," scoffed Crunch, "That psycho never thinks about anything else. I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up right now and tried to blow up our tree or something."

_I'll add it to the list, _Cortex thought, smirking.

"Hey," the ghost whispered, "I can hear your thoughts, you know. Pay attention."

Cortex rolled his eyes at him. "To what," he asked, "Why should I care that they spend their holidays like any other goody-two-shoes family?"

"Come on, guys. Even Cortex can't be that heartless."

Coco's words finally caught his interest. She continued, "Sure, he spends every waking moment of his life wanting to kill us, but he's never actually tried around this time of year."

He never really had a good excuse for that. He just...didn't.

"And I've seen people like N. Gin and Dingodile in town recently shopping for presents and stuff," Coco continued, "so if they have no problem with Christmas, odds are Cortex doesn't, either."

Cortex thought about what had happened that night with his henchmen. At the time, after smashing that star, he reveled in seeing their disappointed faces, but now, he began to fell a shiver of regret.

"Coco's right," Aku Aku agreed, "Let's cut Cortex some slack, guys. This is the season of giving, after all."

As the two male bandicoots voiced their agreement, the ghost turned to Cortex. "Now that you see how your enemies are spending Christmas," he said, snapping his fingers, "Let's see what festive activities your colleagues are up to."

The snap transported them back to Cortex Castle, just outside of a living room window. Pinstripe was reluctantly dismantling the tree, Ripper Roo was tearing the tinsel off of the doorway (and accidentally swallowing most of it), and N. Gin was sweeping up the broken star pieces.

In the opposite corner of the room, Tiny was curled up on the floor, bawling his eyes out. "There, there," Dingodile said, patting him on the back, "Dingo's gotcha, mate."

Cortex soon began to feel a slight pang in his chest, which he quickly realized was a feeling of guilt. He rarely felt guilty about anything. Why was he feeling it now?

"Doing evil deeds must feel quite different when they negatively affect the people you care about," the ghost said.

A faint yawn was suddenly heard in the stairwell, followed by a loud sniffle.

"Nina," N. Gin recognized, indicating the shattered star, "We can't let her see this."

Just before she reached the threshold, Dingodile jumped in her way, blocking her view of her uncle's yuletide carnage.

"H-hey there, sheila," he said nervously, "Wh-what're you doing up so late?"

If Nina noticed his strange demeanor, she didn't show it. "Long story short, glad it's out of my system," she said, "But I thought I heard something strange going on down here."

"Well, you must be hearing things," he replied, "Your sickness is probably messing with your head." He tried to direct her back upstairs and said, "Why don't you go on back to bed? Maybe you'll feel better in the morning."

"Wait," she interrupted, trying to move past him, "Are you guys decorating the living room? I wanna see it!"

Before he could stop her, she ran into the living room, almost tripping over his tail in the process. The morose atmosphere caught her off-guard at first; the tree was only halfway up, Ripper Roo had a string of tinsel hanging out of his mouth, and everyone else was looking downcast at the ground, Tiny's expression gloomy and N. Gin's defeated.

"Are you guys okay," Nina asked concernedly, "If you're having issues with the decorations, there's no reason to cry over-"

She gasped when she saw it. The star.

In pieces.

She clapped both hands over her mouth and began to tear up.

"Nina," N. Gin began, trying to sound reassuring.

"It was my uncle, wasn't it," she asked, "He's dead set on ruining Christmas for everyone." She screamed at the ceiling, "Mission accomplished, Uncle!"

Now Cortex knew he went too far. He knew his evil deeds were much too evil when they made his niece cry.

"I need some air," Nina said, stomping towards the front door.

"Wait, Nina," said N. Gin, "It's much too late to be going outside like this. And besides that, you're sick. At least let one of us come with you if you insist on leaving."

"I'll be fine," she said, throwing on her coat, "I just really want to be alone right now." With that, she exited the manor, not even bothering to wait for anyone to chase after her.

Cortex and the ghost quickly rushed to catch up with her, before she eventually stopped in the middle of the Wumpa Town square. Being the middle of the night, there weren't many people out; the few that were, whether out for a late-night stroll or in the process of closing an overnight shop, looked at the young Cortex girl with a mix of displeasure and sympathy. While most were aware of her family history, they also knew that her uncle was the one who should be looked down upon, not her. Everyone also agreed that his actions were especially uncalled for during this time of year.

"Why, Uncle," Nina mused out loud, "Why won't you take a break from world domination plans for just one minute and celebrate? Do you even care how the rest of us feel about your actions? Where has the Christmas spirit gone?"

Approaching a store window, she found a handwritten sign someone had placed that read, "Missing: Cortex's Christmas Spirit." She angrily ripped it down before crumpling it up and throwing it into the snow. Heaving a depressed sigh, she began to sing.

_Where are you Christmas?_

_Why can't I find you?_

_Why have you gone away?_

_Where is the laughter_

_You used to bring me_

_Why can't I hear music play?_

_My world is changing_

_I'm rearranging_

_Does that mean Christmas changes too?_

Cortex was devastated at this point as he watched her. He realized he should have taken her feelings into consideration, as well as the others, before smashing that star.

He wished he had Christmas Past here again.

_Where are you Christmas?_

_Do you remember_

_The one you used to know?_

_He's not the same one_

_What has the time done?_

_Is that why you have let him go?_

Now he was beginning to tear up, as well. The ghost stood beside him and said, "I think I see a hint of remorse in your eyes, Professor."

Cortex ignored him, keeping his attention on his niece, who he noticed was appearing quite weak.

_Christmas is here everywhere_

_Christmas is here if you care_

_If there is love in your heart and your mind_

_You will feel like Christmas all the time_

She pulled a photograph out of her coat pocket and stared longingly at it. It was from the Christmas when she was five years old, and showed her hugging her favorite present, Kiki the bandicoot. They had been inseparable after that day, until a few years later when she lost her hands. She never saw Kiki again, and she never knew what became of her. Despite her sadness, remembering that moment brought a small smile back to her face.

_I feel you Christmas_

_I know I found you_

_You'd never fade away_

_The joy of Christmas_

_Stays here inside us_

_Fills each and every heart with love_

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the picture out of her hands. She chased after it, and was just about to grab it when she slipped on a patch of ice and fell over. She was left forced to watch as the picture floated through the air before landing in a storm drain.

_Where are you Christmas?_

_Fill your heart with love_

She attempted to stand back up, but was interrupted by a sudden coughing fit. Cortex watched her struggle with concern in his eyes.

"Is she alright," he asked the ghost.

"She will be," the ghost replied, as a female bandicoot and pair of Brat Girls ran over and helped her up. Even with assistance, she looked like she was having difficulty standing.

"She isn't hurt, is she," Cortex asked again, a tone of worry in his voice.

"No, Cortex," the ghost replied, "It's worse than that."

"What do you mean? I thought she just had a cold. What's wrong with her?"

"She has...N. Sanity Flu."

Cortex went white at the mention of the disease. He had heard about the infamous illness, but had never really seen it in action. And now that he had...

"Like you said," the ghost continued, "The symptoms appear similar to those of the common cold, but internally, it's much worse. If she doesn't get help soon..." He trailed off, knowing neither one of them wanted to hear the end of that sentence.

"Please," Cortex begged, "Take me home. I've learned my lesson. Please show me no more."

"I'm afraid your journey is still not complete," the ghost said, beginning to fade away. Before he had completely disappeared, he added, "Brace yourself for Christmas Future."

…

**Not to distract from the mood of the story, but after writing this, I kind of want to see Crunch get a toga for a Legendary skin in CTR:NF.**

**Alright, sorry about that random comment. Make sure you have some tissues handy for the next chapter. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Future Looks...?**

"No, please," Cortex pleaded, despite the ghost having left him, "I don't want to see what the future holds. Please, have mercy."

As he begged, he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned to meet who he suspected to be the final guide on his journey. Like the last two, he was an anthropomorphic bandicoot, but his features were concealed by a dark cloak. All Cortex could really see of him were his sneakered feet and fingerless gloves as he floated slightly overhead.

"Are you the Ghost of Christmas Future," he asked, gazing up at him.

The ghost did not respond, instead nodding slowly.

"Please," Cortex pleaded again, "Can we please skip this part? I promise, I've learned my lesson; just please, take me home."

The ghost snapped his fingers, leading them to the upstairs hall of Cortex Castle, just outside his laboratory door.

Thinking it was over, Cortex grabbed the ghost's hand and shook it vigorously. "Oh, thank you," he said, "Thank you ever so much. Now, if you'll excuse me, I owe my minions an apology."

When he turned to walk away, the ghost grabbed him by the tail of his shirt and pointed to the lab door, signaling for Cortex to open it.

Hesitantly, Cortex approached the door, thinking to himself, _what horrors are awaiting me in this room? _It slowly creaked open, and...

Cortex was shocked at what a mess had been made. Papers were strewn about all over his desk, as well as the floor. A wide assortment of nefarious contraptions and robot assistants were rusting in various areas of the room. Cortex ruffled through the papers on his desk. Each one had one evil plan after another, though he knew now that none of them could, or would, ever be pulled off. Scanning the papers on the floor, he found the majority of them to feature chicken-scratch drawings of him eliminating Crash Bandicoot in a number of ludicrous ways, from dropping a piano on his head to feeding him to a swarm of sharks.

Glancing at a calendar next to a bookshelf, he found that the date was only December 28 of that year.

Only 3 days after Christmas.

And one week after his Present journey.

"Is this all I have been doing in this time," he asked, to which the ghost nodded.

Cortex then noticed a stack of papers closer to the door that appeared to be organized a lot more neatly than the rest. But when he reached to pick them up, he realized they were not his handwriting. He flipped through each of them one by one, noticing that the bottoms were signed by each of his henchmen.

That's when he realized that these were all resignation letters. After he had apparently shut himself in his lab, everyone decided to quit and leave the manor (even Tiny and Ripper Roo, the former just writing "TINY QUIT" on his and the latter having just scribbled randomly and drooled a bit on his).

"Oh no," he said, "what have I done?" He turned to the ghost, who was already making his way out the window.

"Hey," Cortex called after him, "Wait for me!" He quickly ran back downstairs and out the front door. The ghost led him back to the Town Square, where, at the moment, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. Most of the citizens were heading to the town's amphitheater to attend the Nitro Squad's Christmas concert, and snow was continuing to fall gently over their world.

Cortex quickly noticed a group of familiar faces on their way to the theater, and immediately rushed in their direction. "Crash! Coco! Crunch! Aku Aku!" The Bandicoots all seemed to be in merry spirits, but when they saw their old nemesis, their expressions soured. "You guys," he begged, "I need your help. Do any of you know where I might find-"

"Aw, can it, Cortex!" Crunch interrupted, "You really think any of us are willing to help you? After everything you've done this season?"

"Look, I'm terribly sorry for whatever it is I've done to you," Cortex apologized, "but-"

"You haven't done anything to us," Aku Aku interjected, "We've heard about how poorly you've been treating your henchmen. And on Christmas, no less!"

"Cortex," Coco said, "I really thought you could change for one holiday. I thought you could put your evil plans aside in favor of celebration." As she turned back in the direction of the theater, she added, "I'll never make that mistake again."

Before Cortex could respond, the Nitro Squad's rendition of "All I Want for Christmas is You" began playing from the theater. "Aw, man, look at that," Crunch griped, "we're missing the concert now because of you! Come on, guys, let's get away from this monster. Hopefully we'll still get good seats."

"No, wait! Please," Cortex pleaded, but he soon realized that there was no point. He finally turned and dejectedly walked downtown. He stopped right in front of what appeared to be a newly-opened smoothie shop, "TT's Wumpa Whips and More." He figured a quick smoothie break was in order, so he entered and stepped to the counter. "Give me a peach mango smoothie, pronto," he requested, his head hung low, "I've had a very tiring day."

Upon hearing his voice, the owner immediately piped up. "Well, look who finally decided to come out of his cave," he said gruffly, turning from the dispenser to face him.

That's when Cortex recognized him.

"Tiny?" he said, shocked at how much he had changed in such a short time. He was dressed in an olive-green t-shirt and blue jeans, his fur had been combed after decades of keeping it unkempt, and, most impressively, he could now speak in full sentences.

"Oh, Tiny, this is probably the last thing you expected to hear from me," Cortex said, "But boy, am I glad to see you."

"Ain't that some long overdue news," Tiny replied, leaning his elbow on the counter, "Unfortunately, if you're wanting any of us back, you're too late. Everyone has already moved on."

"I understand that," Cortex said, "But at least give me a chance to apologize. I can't believe I messed up like this so quickly, and I truly feel terrible."

"Sorry, Neo," Tiny replied, "but begging will get you nowhere with me. Or anyone else for that matter." As he opened up a cabinet to stock more froyo toppings, he added, "I wouldn't even be able to tell you where the others are right now. We haven't really been seeing each other too often.

Not since the funeral."

At this, Cortex jerked up. "What funeral?"

Before Tiny could respond, an anthropomorphic skunk called from the other side of the shop, "Yo, Double T! Hit me with my usual!"

"Right away, Freddie," Tiny called back. "Now you," he pointed to Cortex, "Get lost. I gotta get back to work."

"But wait," Cortex pleaded as the ghost was already dragging him out of the shop, "Whose funeral was it, Tiny?"

Once they exited, Cortex immediately ran towards the cemetery. The first thing he noticed was the same anthropomorphic bandicoot girl from Christmas Present, standing solemnly over a grave. She shed a single tear and planted a kiss on the headstone before turning and leaving. He quickly recognized the bandicoot as Kiki. _What could she be doing here, _he thought. Once she left, he approached the grave, and a fresh wave of grief and guilt suddenly washed over him.

Etched into the middle of the stone, was a lowercase n.

Cortex found himself unable to contain his emotions any longer as he sunk to his knees and began to weep. It was one thing to know he had lost all of his former colleagues, but worst of all, Nina, his own flesh and blood, had been lost in a more literal sense. _How could I have let any of this happen, _he thought, _how could I have been so careless, so stupid? _He couldn't help but wonder-did she pass quickly, or was she in any pain? Did she question his whereabouts with her final breath? He simply couldn't bear to know the answers.

"Please," he sobbed, "Take me back home. Not this world's home, but the home that holds what I now know I have to lose; my colleagues-no, my friends, my...family. I promise, I can fix this future. I can change." He stood and turned, but the ghost was no longer there.

"Hello," he cried out desperately, "Christmas Future?" He ran out of the cemetery and back to the square, continuing to plead for the ghost's return. "No, please," he begged, "Please don't leave me here. It doesn't have to be this way!"

Suddenly, a loud whistle was blown, and Dingodile, dressed in a police uniform and accompanied by two more officers, one being a male fox and the other a female porcupine, approached the doctor, brandishing his flamethrower. "Oi! 'Bout time you showed your face around heres," he said, "By order of Governor Roo, you're to be placed under arrest for your numerous transgressions. Don't even think about runnin'," he added, his finger hovering over the trigger, "unless you wanna be thrown on the barbie!"

Cortex wasn't sure if he was even thinking when his next course of action was to do exactly what he was just told not to do. Disobedience did run in his family, after all.

As the cops gave chase, he began to cry out, "I'm sorry! I'm truly sorry! Please, give me another chance!"

The chase led them past a car dealership, where Pinstripe was holding a special Christmas "Clear-the-Road" sale in congruence with N. Gin's auto parts store. "Hey, fellas," Dingodile called to them, "Little help here?" Pinstripe jumped into the driver's seat while N. Gin clambered up to the roof of the car, manning the turret mounted on top.

"We armed and ready, Gin," Pinstripe asked, eyeing the big red button in the center console.

"Oh, we've been ready for decades, Stripes," N. Gin replied, chuckling maniacally. He locked his target on Cortex, knowing full well that he would never be able to outrun the missile, and Pinstripe slammed his fist down onto the button.

When Cortex heard the missile firing, he quickened his pace, but it was clear that the projectile was hot on his tail. "No," he cried, "It doesn't have to be this way! I can change; I promise, I can change!" His protests were being drowned out by the hissing of the missile, and right when it was about to explode...

Cortex was awoken by the sound of glass shattering on his bedroom floor. He soon realized that he was back home, in bed, no worse for wear. _Had it really been a dream all along? _He thought.

A Lab Assistant was standing in the doorway, broken glass and spilled coffee all over the floor. "Sorry, Dr. Cortex. I just heard you stirring and thought I would investigate," he said, noting the mess he had made. "Please don't fire me. You just startled me, is all."

Cortex suddenly leaped out of bed and grabbed the Assistant by his shoulders, but instead of throttling him as expected, he began to shake him vigorously, asking, "What day is it, Michael? Please, tell me what day it is!"

"Uh," the Assistant replied, confused, "the twenty-third?"

"The twenty-third," Cortex repeated, sighing with relief, "Oh, I never thought I'd be so happy to hear that number. I still have time to fix everything." He hugged Michael tightly, proclaiming, "It's so good to be back. You know you always were my favorite Assistant." Unfortunately, he had been squeezing Michael a bit too tightly, and his head suddenly popped off of his robotic body.

"Never mind, then," he decided. He then remembered the date.

December twenty-third.

Tomorrow's Christmas Eve!

"There's no time to waste," he said, throwing on his lab coat and rocket boots. He once again approached the windowsill, preparing to exit the manor. "Time to make things right." He leapt out of the window, shouting, "Feliz Navidad!"

...And plummeted straight into the snow once more.

"Right," he remembered, "Didn't charge the boots. Oh well." Leaping to his feet, he rushed back in the direction of Wumpa Town. He had some work to do.


	6. Chapter 6

**Well, we've finally reached the end of the story. This actually didn't take as long to write as I thought it would. Hope you all enjoy the exciting conclusion of A Cortex Christmas Carol!**

Chapter 6: All's Well That Ends Well

N. Gin and the mutants were all gathered on and around the couch as Nina sat in between them all, coughing and shivering despite being wrapped in several blankets. "This may not be the best time to say this," N. Gin said, gently stroking her hair, "but what were you thinking, Nina? You're already ill enough as it is."

"Just be glad that Kiki showed up when she did," said Pinstripe. Nina was surprised to learn that the bandicoot who had rescued her had indeed been her long-lost pet, but at the moment, she was too weak to react.

"Yeah," Dingodile agreed, "You're lucky to be alive, sheila." Looking around the room at what remained of the decorations that were now mostly scattered on the floor, he added, "Some Christmas, huh?"

Before anyone could respond, the front door suddenly flung open, and who should walk in but Ol' Saint Nick himself, carrying an enormous stack of presents so high that it obstructed his face. "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, everyone," he shouted as he peeked his head around the presents to see their shocked faces. That's when they all realized that he didn't quite look like the Santa they were familiar with. He appeared to be much shorter, with a darker beard, and all of his belly fat appeared to have transferred to his head.

"SANTA!" Tiny yelled, jumping up and down excitedly like a child. Ripper Roo soon followed suit, though mostly because jumping was one of the few things he was known for. The others just chuckled and shook their heads, not having the heart to tell them that it was really Cortex.

Once he had passed a handful of presents to each of them, he took note of his niece's fragile state and slowly approached her. "Ah, Nina Cortex," he said, still keeping his jolly persona, "I have a very special present for you." He handed her a vial of orange liquid, which she eyed warily as she took it.

"You sure about this," she asked, knowing what this could mean. If it worked, that is.

Cortex simply nodded, and hesitantly, Nina drank the bitter liquid, almost not wanting to ingest the whole thing. Once she had, everyone stared at her expectantly. Soon, what little color that had been drained from her face was starting to return. She took a deep breath, amazed to find herself able to do so again.

"I..." she began, "I'm not sick anymore. I'm cured!" She immediately jumped into her uncle's arms as she began to cry again, thanking him profusely for what he had done for her.

It wasn't long before Cortex found himself on the verge of tears once more, as in between Nina's thanks, he began muttering his apologies to her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he repeated. Glancing over his shoulder at everyone, they quickly formed a group hug, showing their forgiveness.

Once they had pulled away, Cortex started back out the door. "Hey, where're you goin' boss?" Pinstripe asked.

"Follow me," Cortex responded, "Time to pay a visit to some old friends."

…

Meanwhile, the Bandicoots were on the beach in their front yard, the normally sandy ground now coated in a thick layer of snow. Crash was playfully chasing Polar around, and Coco was mingling with the Nitro Squad, who were trying to talk her into letting them teach her how to ice skate.

"Come on, Coco," Ami said, nudging the younger bandicoot girl's shoulder, "Once you get the hang of it, it's really fun."

"I don't know, guys," Coco responded, "The water doesn't really look frozen enough to withstand our weight."

"Oh, come on," Isabella whined, "If Crunch can do it on your pool, we can do it on the ocean."

Sure enough, Crunch was standing in the middle of the frozen pool, figure skating as gracefully as he possibly could. Once he decided to come to a stop, he turned to his sister and said, "See? Nothin' to it."

Out of nowhere, a snowball pelted him across the face, knocking him off of the pool and straight into the snowman Megumi had just built. "Hey," Crunch exclaimed, glaring daggers at Crash. "What was that for?!"

But Crash just shrugged. He wasn't the one who had thrown the snowball.

"Well, if you didn't throw it, then who-" Crunch began before another sailed through the air, this one pelting Crash in the back of the head. All of the bandicoots turned to find Cortex and his minions, armed to the teeth with a huge arsenal of snowballs.

"Cortex," Crunch shouted, shifting into a fighting stance, "What do you want from us now?"

"Oh, nothing really," Cortex replied nonchalantly, "I was in the neighborhood and just thought I'd drop by and-think fast!" He threw another snowball that he had been hiding behind his back, this one hitting Liz in the chest. She appeared angry at first, but Coco and Tawna both gave her a look suggesting otherwise. Cortex clearly wasn't there to cause trouble. He just wanted to engage in some harmless fun with his mortal enemies.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh," Liz smirked as she packed herself a snowball and tossed it at Cortex. She missed, and hit Dingodile instead. Before they knew it, an all-out war had started, Team Bandicoot vs. Team Cortex. After the Bandicoots had won best two out of three, they tried to play a round of Mutants vs. Humans, which went about as well as you'd expect. Somewhere around then, Nina was just about to throw a snowball straight at Coco when she felt a soft tap on her shoulder. She spun around, yelling, "Thought you could sneak up on me, huh," then gasped when she saw who it was.

It was her. The bandicoot girl who had saved her.

"Kiki," she asked, dropping the snowball, "is it really you?"

Kiki nodded and said, in a soft Australian accent, "Nice to see you're back up and around, kiddo."

She soon had a pair of metal hands wrapped around her torso. It was painful, of course, but she did her best to ignore it for Nina's sake. Instead, she returned the hug, patting the sobbing girl on the back as she did so.

"Let it out, Nina," Kiki told her as she cried, "Kiki's gotcha. There's a girl."

Nina eventually looked up at her and said, "This is the best Christmas gift I could ever get. I missed you so much."

As their reunion continued, the rest of the group was watching the scene unfold, smiling at the sight. Megumi had her hand over her heart as her and the rest of the Squad said, "Aww."

"Hey," Crunch said, interrupting the moment, "It's starting to get pretty late. Whattdya say we all head inside, sit around the fire, swap anecdotes, that kinda stuff?"

The bandicoots all agreed, and as they started towards the house, Coco turned to the villains. "Well," she said, "Are you guys coming?"

The villains all smiled at each other when they realized that they were actually being invited into their nemeses' home. Once all inside, they spent the rest of the night laughing, singing, and generally enjoying each other's company. It felt nice to not be at each other's throats for one night.

Without a doubt, it was their best Christmas ever.


End file.
